Falconpowers – E honest: there are times when you have felt schadenfreude, or “delight in another’s misfortunes”. But what about vorfreude? I recently came across this lovely word, which my German-speaking friend translated as “the anticipation of joy”.
It struck me as such a hopeful concept – surely we could all do with less schadenfreude and more vorfreude.
So what exactly is anticipatory joy, how do we cultivate it and will it make us happier?
“The idea is to find joy in the lead-up to an event,” says Sophie Mort, a clinical psychologist and mental health expert at the meditation and mindfulness app Headspace. “For example, we often feel joy and excitement when planning a trip, thinking about going on a date or anticipating a special meal.
” It’s easy to look forward to holidays and special occasions, but a joy-filled life is also about everyday occurrences. Rory Platt, a writer at the personal development company The School of Life, says: “The trick lies in filling our calendar with lots of little moments to look forward to – like tiny baubles that, when seen from a distance, combine to make a more glittering future.”
But vorfreude is not about wishing your life away and thinking you will be happy in an imagined future. “Looking forward to something can trigger joy in the present moment,” says Karen Neil, a health coach and the founder of Mindful Medicine.
This can boost your mood, reduce your stress levels and help to avoid burnout.
A 2017 study published in Frontiers of Psychology found that anticipating positive events activated the brain’s medial prefrontal cortex, which is associated with a higher level of wellbeing
Doesn’t getting your hopes up risk disappointment? Perhaps it’s safer to keep expectations low.
Emma Mills, a mindfulness expert and the author of Inhale Exhale Repeat, begs to differ. “There is a saying: ‘If you worry, you suffer twice.
’ Anticipatory joy is the opposite of that.” Even if an anticipated event turns out to be a letdown, vorfreude helps people bounce back. “Optimists have improved coping abilities when dealing with unplanned distress and they tend to recover far faster,” says Tania Taylor, a psychotherapist and vorfreude advocate.
If you are going through a tough time and feel as though you have nothing to look forward to, don’t beat yourself up. “It’s important that positive psychology doesn’t get confused with toxic positivity,” says Taylor. “When I was going through cancer treatment, I spent most days binge‑watching television. It’s OK to sit tight when everything feels overwhelming without feeling guilt that you are not looking for joy.” If feelings of hopelessness persist, she stresses, it’s important to seek help from a GP, a therapist or charities such as or Shout.
If, however, you are ready for vorfreude, it shouldn’t feel like a chore.
“Mostly, it will involve exploring what you already have in your life that you look forward to,” says Taylor.
Willem Kuyken, a professor of mindfulness at the University of Oxford, has researched the benefits of cultivating joy.
In his book Mindfulness for Life, he writes: “It takes only a small step out of habit and into awareness to enjoy the people we love around us, to savour food or to dance to music in our kitchen while cooking. These moments are available to us all the time.”
With that in mind, here are 30 simple ways to get more vorfreude in your life.
Start (really) small
If the concept of vorfreude is completely alien to you, take baby steps. “Try to notice one joyful thing each day,” says Neil. You could frame this as a photo challenge: spend a little time every day looking for one beautiful flower, interesting sight or cute dog to photograph.
Think positive
“Plan a morning affirmation or positive statement and look forward to starting your day with it in your mind,” says Taylor. “Some people create a screensaver with it on their phone so it’s the first thing they see.” An example she gives is: “Today I will look for good moments and remember them.” Mort suggests: “May I be open to joy and have many moments of joy ahead.”
Turn routine into ritual
“A very small thing that I get vorfreude from is anticipating my first coffee of the day,” says Mort. “When I wake up, it’s the first thing I think about: how it will smell, how it will taste and how I will feel while drinking it. It’s a ritual that I love and I really allow myself to focus on it.”
Find joy in the everyday
“At the end of my evening meditation classes, I suggest people consider three things they are looking forward to tomorrow,” says Mills. “It could be their morning walk in the park or listening to a podcast on their commute; maybe sitting down to enjoy their packed lunch at work or looking forward to having a bath at the end of the day.”
Come off autopilot
“Perhaps you have a hobby such as gardening, or a pet to spend time with,” says Karen Atkinson, the CEO of MindfulnessUK. “Coming out of autopilot and consciously looking forward to these moments is an achievable way for anyone to experience vorfreude.”
Avoid mind traps
“To change your mindset to become more joyful, you must first become familiar with your own negative thought patterns,” says Atkinson.
These “mind traps” include catastrophising and discounting the positive. “For example, instead of thinking: ‘I’m only going away for one night – it’s hardly a holiday,’ say to yourself: ‘What a treat – a night away, going out to dinner and meeting friends. How lovely.’” The “shoulds” are another trap. “You may think: ‘I should have a more thriving social life, like everyone else.’ Instead, recognise that Fomo [fear of missing out] can add stress.
Remember how fortunate you are to go out and have fun once in a while – really cherish the opportunity.”
Treat yourself
“Schedule brief excursions and small indulgences,” says Platt. “Perhaps aim to finish work an hour early on Fridays to get dinner with a friend, visit an art gallery or take yourself on a solo cinema trip.” Don’t feel guilty about it. The team at The Mindfulness Project says: “Giving yourself permission to look forward to these pleasures can prepare you to enjoy them.”
Put plans in writing
One of the exercises in I Am Here Now, a book by The Mindfulness Project, is getting into the habit of writing down plans. The authors suggest rating your anticipation levels, but even the simple act of putting pen to paper can make plans feel more real and increase excitement.
Keep a joy journal
“Joy is individual,” says Neil. “There are common themes – we can all appreciate a happy child playing – but it’s about finding what brings you joy.” She advises people to keep a joy journal, noting down what has made you happy that day, week or month. That way, you can plan more of it in the future.
